is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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