I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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