Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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