this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
