he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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