Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize