I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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