Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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