Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
