ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
