Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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