Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
