Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I party with great urgency now.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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