it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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