i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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