she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
