I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
