i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
