i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
