I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this will be a night to untag.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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