you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
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2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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