we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
