I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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