I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He felt like a one man threesome
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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