She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
