Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
