I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
