she was so not down for the gang bang
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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