did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
