i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize