can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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