if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Randomize
