just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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