first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
