Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
