he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
