And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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