the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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