glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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