Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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