Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
