I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
