Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
