bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize