I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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