I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
