ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
