Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
