I am puke
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
