Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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