you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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