He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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