Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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