If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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