ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize