he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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