her vagine was all disorganized.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
