I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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