Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
