he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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