have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
