How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
