Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
