We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
