idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
a search helicopter?!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
