I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize