True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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