My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
