It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
